Upset by the #Gilette ad? Good. You should be. Let’s discuss why.
Tuff Love: Be the Best Man you can Be – Gilette Ad Response
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It
It’s a ‘be the best man’ video
Alban
I thought it was guys trying to video some younger girls and telling them to smile for the camera, and the girls obviously didn’t want to be filmed No consent
If we WERE aware this ad would not exist.
I am feeling so much gratitude for you and this expression. Thank you.
My problem is it’s a marketing ploy. It does not have anything to do with toxic masculinity. That is the point.
Shake it off, Robert! 😀
sounds like victim triangle 😉
Miseed that camera in the background! Great catch.
Right on brother
Thank you and I’m confused. So are you saying that marketing and social messaging can’t be co-joined? People w/ power and money to produce an important message… shouldn’t?
ARGH
say more about that brother!
It is my honor and I hold as my responsibility.
Great points here…thank you for pointing these out, making it clear and being so passionate! And yes Alison Armstrong…amazing work and that exercise was powerful!
While marketing and social messaging can co-join, given that the main purpose of a for-profit company is to make profit (they need money the way humans need food and water), it follows that the social messaging serves the company’s bottom line rather than vice versa.
That doesn’t make it inherently bad, but a lot of people associate that strategy with exploitation.
Thank you Elikem! For me it’s the intention behind the message. It is meant to bring in more sales. It would be interesting to see a sales report after launching their ad. Yes, the message is needed and maybe I would have been more interested in it if Gillett had instead created a program within their company to help their employees cultivate more consciousness. I’m not angry at this advertisement, simply realistic about where the intention is coming from.
you yelling makes the passionate part of me so happy.
This has been my point from the beginning. Logos and pathos are present for sure, it’s the ethos I struggle with.
I am still not comfortable with the more generous interpretation of this ad (although it is great progress that I finally understand it!). For example, Why should only the “good men” step up to the plate and confront the bad behavior? We all know some “good women” with strong presence who could do it better than most men!
Saying there are good men and bad men is an over-simplification. And then there is the negative stereotypical behavior portrayed in the ad. You would never tolerate such an ad portraying negative stereotypical behaviors of a minority ethnic or religious group, I bet. And do you not know women who engage in what you would call bad behaviors?
I am grateful that I finally understand the positive way to view this ad. Initially I only saw the negative stereotyping and finger wagging, but that is still my dominant reaction. I wonder whether the ad was designed this way intentionally to create polarized opinions and controversy (ie, attention).
Personally I just switched from Gillette to Harrys as a result of this ad but overall I suspect they are popping champaign at Gillette headquarters.
The problem with the Gillette ad was that it deploys and encourages negative stereotype. You would never tolerate that same behavior by an advertiser trashing people of color or religious minorities. Here is a video, crafted in response to the Gillette advertisement, that shows what could have been done instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_HL0wiK4Zc
Top show. Top rant!!!
Robert Kandell I appreciate your POV. I hated the add as it simplifies issues in such a superficial way. But as you say that this ad can be looked as a wake up call. And that is good. 30 years ago Men’s Work came online , but was poo pooed by the media. It was a opportunity for the culture to shift, but perhaps that era was still in the glow of the feminist movement of the 70’s and were closer to openness of the heart then the men coming of age over the last decade. But perhaps the backlash, meetoo, and the prez of grabbing in the WH is providing a oppenning again. It is up to us men who have done work to come out and provide a deeper vision that this ad can show. I
This article points to a way and goes much deeper https://medium.com/rebel-wisdom/what-gillette-got-wrong-dispatch-from-the-gender-war-362441468e3f?fbclid=IwAR322phpszNHYwc7NPlM4ld5p5ufr3XKhGq6TaxhqmRB0gq_xqSBqXys-WY
I would say that a man breaking up the rough house playing of two boys any better then the man mansplaining the woman in the boardroom. It is the wrong approach and could cause all kinds of development problems. In any case good seeing you share…
I wonder, just wonder… is it simplified way since we’re so engrossed in the conversation? Or did they really just need to hit the nail with a hammer to make an impact.
And yes, its on us brother and we have a lot of work to do!
I get it now Martine and Elikem. I hear you and just have a different view about it. I think we’re so connected to the media (TV, shows, ads, magazines, Social media) that this makes perfect sense to me. I’ve read about how this was a preview to Super Bowl Sunday where TV ads are a signficant part of the entertainment.
So, I agree and I understand why not include a motivation of sales.
well as men we are not afraid to go deeper. Like I said the ad is kind of wrong headed, but if it opens a conversation that that is col. Personally Mad Max Fury Road is a profoundly made film that covers the full range of the war on consciousness and humanity..and It ROCKS
I HAVE FEELINGS Amy!
Robert Kandell also, in a way I like their message and if most unconscious people can have access to this then there is no harm done. I just want to be realistic as to where the message is actually coming from. People get their underwear tied up in a knot too easily LOL
Robert Kandell No argument from me on that point. Again, I’m not saying it’s inherently bad. I just get why a lot of people believe it’s bad.
Thank you!!!! That’s amazing!! Let’s be responsible of our actions and consequences with out hiding in gender shit!
Robert Kandell What I like about the ad is that it positions “bad” behaviors as uncool. The desire of men to be perceived as cool is pretty strong. That said, the ad positions women (mostly) in the victim spot, and men as being villains (perpetrators) or heroes (rescuers). And maybe that is how the world is. But the victim triangle theory would argue that those who are in the victim spot have more power than they realize and perceiving themselves as victims makes it meaningfully more difficult to access that power.
I get it. A complex aspect of the ad for sure. I can see it. I don’t know how they could have shown women in more powerful positions without confusing the message of the ad overall.
I thought it was acknowledging “human potential” at its best.
Minus the cheesy soundtrack this ad is waaaaayyyyyy more empowering and loving of men then the new ad . Turn off the sound and look at the images and understand why many men are fucking pissed with the propaganda Gillette unleashed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThDBf14qPsc
Finally got a chance to listen to this.
SPOT.ON.
I agree with many of the messages in the *ad*.
Those who watch the *ad* and agree with the sentiments don’t need to see the *ad*.
Those who push back on the *ad* will not be influenced by the content.
TheBestMenCanBe.*org* (*.org* = marketing) says Gillette will donate $1M per year, for three years, to orgs like The Boys & Girls Clubs of America. Nice.
But is this content indicative of the culture at Gillette/P&G?
I’ve worked in the marketing arena for 38 years. I’d love to see a video of the meetings that resulted in this *ad*.
Perhaps…
“Dollar Shave Club and Harry’s are taking market share from us. We tried launching our own shave club but it’s not having much of an impact. How can we get noticed without spending millions on paid ads?”
As a man who was numb for years. A man who was bullied. A man who at times mistreated women – no *ad* would have changed any of that. I would have scoffed at it – dismissed it.
It’s an inside game. I had to go deep inside and clear out so much darkness. So much pain. So many wounds.
My work continues but this *ad* won’t make a difference for me.
I think that perhaps some men who champion this *ad* still have wounds from being bullied and/or shame from mistreating women – and the conversation enables them to release some anger and/or feel some moral superiority.
Maybe not. I’m not a therapist.
Gillette wants to sell razors. I doubt they really care, or will have any way of knowing, if this *ad* will make a difference.
Now, if Gillette employees were to vulnerably share their experiences, and let us know this is who they are, and that they want to lead this conversation by creating an internal culture representative of this, that would be a good step.
If more corporations led from the heart, that would be great. But at present, they’re not set up that way. They’re responsible for quarterly earnings. And that’s what this *ad* is all about.
(Also, the guys lined up behind the grills, t-shirts under unbuttoned shirts, numb to what’s happening – “boys will be boys” – please. This is where they made a mistake. One guy, fine. But the lineup seems to be a statement about all men. “This is who you are. All of you. Shame on you.”
No. Not true.)
Robert Kandell Watching this I feel so much love for you.
A lot of great points Gregory Noack and I read it a couple of times to really take it in. Its been an interesting experience for me reading all the positive and negative feedback about the ad. How it touching some and rubbing others the wrong way. Its been fascinating to truly hold multiple levels of awareness around this ad to feel how it is impacting.
I agree with you that guys who like this ad don’t NEED to see it.
I also believe that we need to continue to PUSH the #meToo conversation in the world. Like throwing a rock into a calming pond.
I, personally, don’t care at all what Gilette’s motivations are on why they did this ad. I am all for them selling razors. I am all for them doing whatever they want (as long as it’s legal and in integrity) to sell their product. Viva capitalism!
And, I’m just THRILLED it got people talking. That’s my favorite part. I’m all for controversy, I’m all for uncomfortable, I’m all for debate because I believe that it’s better that silence and non-confrontation.
So, yes, this ad does not seem like it’s for you. And yes, the line up was a bit much AND I love that’s evoking conversation.
Aw, I’m grateful for that!!
Are you coming to NYC at the end of the month for UAL???
YES! I love you for calling this all out.
You’re lit up like a firecracker. I’m with you tho
Carmel Diana especially 8m30s onwards.
‘Men don’t understand the impact of their behaviour’ = our lived daily reality.
Hey brother – I finally got a chance to watch this video and well… I gotta debate you on this one. Yes, all these statistics are true. Yes, there are MANY things that are dangerous about being a man in today’s world. AND these quotes are straight from the Men Rights Activism (MRA) playbook that has been around since the 1990’s (e.g. William Farrell’s Myth of Man’s Power)
It is a dangerous to be a man.
It is powerful to be a man.
It’s IMPORTANT to support men.
But, when we focus on these statistics, we do NOT pay attention to the other habits of men that still exist in terms of violence, chauvinism, and other aspects of the Gilette ad.
When I see this response, I see a man trying to deflect their poor behavior with these very true stats. So, yeah, I’m not buying it.
Um – I loved the ad – why should I be upset about it?
Robert Kandell I see what you mean in that this is not a substitute for the original. It does not attempt to do what the original tried to do. It does not directly address any poor behaviors. It does attempt to counterbalance the negative stereotyping of the original (IMHO). I can’t speak to whether the creator of the video is trying to deflect from their own behaviors.
Try SNL’s take on the topic. 4min. I think of this video often, because it was memorably funny along with the important message. It is also not a direct substitute but much closer. Cecily Strong is brilliant here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZqdeeKVoBc
Robert Kandell when you look at this ad you accept the truth of the points but attack the underlying philosophy. That is exactly the problem that the critics of the original ad have. The first ad doesn’t seek to inform or to build connection. It makes people who share feminist ideology feel good. The second ad at least informs, but makes people who support traditional values feel good. Neither ad builds connection.
Gillette doesn’t know the impact they had on men and women, they haven’t acknowledged the sins of their past!
When the CEO of Proctor & Gamble and the VP of Gillette issue a formal apology for the way they used women, abused and objectified women in their past advertising for their profits then I will take their latest message seriously. Otherwise, it is just another cheap marketing stunt in my books. It lacks authenticity. That’s what bothers me.
I don’t have a problem with the advertisement message but I do have a problem with the company who authorized the creative and go ahead for this advertisement. The very people who won’t issue an apology to women for their “toxicity” and their part in what distorted men with their past messages of what makes a man in their past advertising. That’s what I have a problem with.
I hear you brother. I don’t know if connection was their goal. Perhaps a shake up, a wake up, a call to action. Or, specifically, a Hero’s Journey Call to adventure.
I suspect the 2nd ad placated and coddled. It doesn’t evoke change just empathy for men. This is not a bad thing but not very impactful.
If the claims in the Gilette ad, about men’s behavior, wasn’t true…. then there would be no need for the ad. But these actions are happening. Therefore, it’s needed.
Tony Guigli Rullo I hear you and understand this point of view. But it doesn’t interest me because I’m more interested in the content of the ad. That’s a personal choice.
The second ad gave facts that society should view as unacceptable and want to change. Men being homeless, hungry, and dying could be perceived as more of a wake up call than women receiving cat calls or getting unwanted attention. But if it isn’t, that kind of says something, too. If the answer is to be found in men and women coming together, maybe ads that promote mutual understanding would be better than blaming and shaming.
A truly good ad could have been based on the phrase from page 145 in your book: “It is time to teach them (men) how to be with you. Not from a should position, but from a place of opportunity.” Imagine an ad with a woman finding her voice, the guy being a little surprised but listening, and then something that symbolizes that the relationship has become more honest AND more sexual. No women as victims, no blaming men for things that they really don’t believe they are doing, no politically charged rhetoric – just empowered women co-creating awake relationships with good men. Gillette could have made that advertisement and they chose to make a divisive ad that over a million people (probably men) have disliked.
Edward Maran you got me!
Here is another film about men from Kim Gehrig, the creator of the Gillette advertisement. It is beautifully crafted, like the Gillette ad, but it’s even more difficult to watch. She is, if anything, consistent in her views. Does this video describe any men that you know? What do you think of the emotional state of the person that created this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDu0ay24Wio