167: The Good Dad Project: The Dad’s Edge with Larry Hagner

Probably 99.99% of us have a little father wound, a little issue with our own a father that’s impacted us. Larry Hagner is doing one of the most important pieces of work out there, teaching men to be better men and to become better fathers. Larry is the founder of the Good Dad Project and host of The Dad Edge Podcast which is the number one dad podcast on Apple Podcasts. Larry breaks down strategies for men to be the best version of themselves and helps men navigate life through helping men build a band of brothers. He also shares his viewpoints of what it means to be a good father and the lessons he teaches his four sons.

I am back with another truly amazing guest, Larry Hagner of The Good Dad Project. He is talking about his journey of learning to be a good father and realizing six years in that he needs some help. He started this amazing group. He has a mastermind. He has a free Facebook group. Talking about his viewpoints of what it means to be a good father and the lessons he teaches his four sons.

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My guest, Larry Hagner, is doing one of the most important pieces of work out there. Teaching men to be better men and to become better fathers. Probably 99.99% of us have a little father wound. A little issue with our own father that’s impacted us. I know at 48 I am still investigating and working for my own. I’m so deeply grateful for the work that Larry is doing. I’m excited to have him on. Welcome to the show, Larry.

Thank you very much. It’s pretty amazing how many guys out there do have those father wounds. There is no doubt about it.

This is a horrible question, but do you think life would be less interesting without a father wound? Do you think in the epic Hero’s Journey, we need to have these challenges in our life to reconcile to become better men?

I think so. In our community, we call these the peaks and the valleys. Without the valleys, then you don’t know maybe how to pivot and how to shift in your life. If you have a father wound, I’ve got one myself, probably a few, that’s what helps us say, “What direction am I going to go in?” We have two choices. We either become our dads or we don’t become our dads. Maybe there’s even a little of us that become our dads even if we don’t want it. Taking those things that we like, some of those things that we want to pass down and then maybe some of the things you’re like, “I don’t know if I would do it that way. I might do it a bit different.” Some of the things are good and some of the things we learned for ourselves and pivot.

I know for myself, I unconsciously took on my father’s dreams for me. My father’s path. My father’s book. I called it the Encyclopedia Britannica How to be a Good Man in the World. I was so deeply influenced by my father. I realized at 28, I got a little Etch A Sketch and then said, “This is not my life,” and I went in a totally different direction. I have both an angst and gratitude for the book and I’m also grateful I diverted from that path.

We can sometimes live in the shadows of our fathers, of what they want us to become. One of the things that I do take pride in is that I want my kids to think for themselves. We put them in certain situations and certain things and I would say uncomfortable things. Not uncomfortable things that would be dangerous, but out of their comfort zone where it allows them to make decisions in a safe place where they can make and think for themselves.

You said your motivation start in 2012 was because of your own challenges. Can you express how that happened and what made you start this organization?

I was born in 1975. My parents were married in 1971. Right after I was born, they pretty much split up after that. My dad was gone. He was out of my life. I didn’t know him. My mom got remarried when I was four. In my mind, that’s how I didn’t have any recollection of my biological father. That’s how I thought men and dads came into the picture was moms went out and found dads. I was happy when she found my dad at four years old. They got divorced when I was ten. He was a nice guy but had a bit of a drinking problem. My mom dated and married a few more times and every guy was the same guy. He would start out nice, somewhat of a father figure, but all of them were partiers. All of them were drinkers. All of them had like this bag of tricks when it came to substances.

I learned at an early age that I didn’t have that father figure in my life. If I did, there was some toxicity associated with it. I did have an opportunity to meet my biological father for the first time when I was twelve. Our relationship, unfortunately, fizzled out pretty quickly. He had gotten remarried. He had a two-year-old son and another one on the way. At that point in his life, he didn’t want to make his life too complicated anymore. We parted ways. Fast forward to 2006, when I was 30. I was in a coffee shop here in St. Louis and he came walking through the door to get a morning coffee.

It was completely unexpected. I knew who he was. He hadn’t changed that much. It’s been about twenty years. We ended up talking. I’m proud to say here we are years later and we have a relationship. It’s not necessarily a dad-son relationship, but it’s more of a friendship. I do have two younger half-brothers. We get along great. He’s been married to the same woman for almost 40 years. We get along with her great. My kids know him. His grandma and grandpa and everything is about as best as it can be. When I was 30, that’s when I became a father for the first time. I told myself, “I’m not going to drink. I’m not going to abuse my kids. I’m not going to call them names. I’m not going to do this. I’m not going to do that.” I’m proud to say I didn’t do any of that stuff that was done to me.

Good Dad: The Good Dad Project was actually me. I was the project because I needed some help.

However, I didn’t know what I was doing. I knew what not to do, but I had no clue what to do. I was stuck in this limbo of I don’t know what to do. Most men you ask them being a father is a very intimate thing. Being a husband is a very intimate thing. However, it’s the two categories that we’re least likely to reach out for help for because we don’t want to admit like, “I don’t have all the answers.” I finally got tired of walking around without a map and without a point in the right direction. I wasn’t the best husband and I definitely wasn’t the best father. I finally threw up my arms in 2012 and I was like, “There’s got to be a better way.”

I started reading books. I started hiring coaches. I started a page on Facebook called The Good Dad Project and the project was me. I was the project because I needed some help. I decided at that moment I was like, “I’m tired of thinking that I have this all together. I’m going to be a student of this. I’m going to learn whatever I can. Then I’m going to go onto this page and share what I’m learning.” Then I started the blog the GoodDadProject.com and then I found out quickly I didn’t like writing blogs. In 2015, I started the podcast. The podcast was a way for me to talk to people way smarter than me, like you. I learn from their advice and some of their mistakes and some of their achievements. We’re almost a few years into the podcast and I had some amazing people come on the show. I’m still learning how to be a father. I still have wrecked days with it where I don’t feel like I have it all together. It’s a lot more enjoyable now. I would say my marriage is thriving. It’s not just surviving. I do my best with my kids. I try to put in action on what I’m learning.

I have to tell you that the A Boy Named Sue, the Johnny Cash song, when your father walked into the bar, that’s all I could think of when you said that story of him walking in when you were 30. I imagined all those emotions that must have risen for you. Kudos to you for remaining in a relationship with him and turning that challenging moment into the connection. The second thing that impacted me was when you said, “I wasn’t a good father. I wasn’t a good husband.” The vulnerability and truth around that, I think a lot of what men faced these days is the inability to say, “I don’t know.” To lose the stoic false face. For you to flat out say those things, you’re not the best father and not the best husband. I felt that. That’s important. I’m sure in your group you share that. The authenticity of not knowing what to do.

We always say in our group, in our community, in our mastermind community, the messier the better. The uglier, the better. We’re not about to highlight reel. We do like to celebrate the wins and the progress that men make. We always tell guys that bring your shame baggage here so you can unpack it and feel lighter. Men who have been down the road you were traveling can point you in the right direction.

In the six years you started, do you see recurring themes in terms of fatherhood that happened over and over again? The top three hits or maybe I’m looking for a little pragmatic for men learning to be fathers. What are the top two or three things that you see over and over again?

The top two or three things that I see is men have a lot of problems asking for help. We have this lone wolf mentality. When we get together with other men, we have the exact same conversations. It’s usually associated with a lot of beer. We talk about what we did at work, the hot waitress across the bar. We talk about what we did on the weekends. The sports our kids are playing. The good old days. Then after that, we run out. We don’t have a whole lot to talk about. However, we want to talk about more. We want to have these deeper discussions. We don’t necessarily have the skills and know how to do it. That’s the first one is reaching out for help. Getting around a group of like-minded men that you want, that are used to having those conversations or want to have these conversations where the environment is already set. The other thing too is most men struggle. I mentioned the five dimensions. Men operate in a financial dimension, in their health dimension, relationship with their wife, relationship with their kids and how they provide. Those five things. What I’ve seen is men tend to operate in a dimension where they’re thriving and they get the most validation. For instance, if a guy is kicking ass in finance and he’s good as his job, he tends to pour a lot of time and energy into that while sacrificing maybe his health and the relationship with his wife and kids.

On the flip side, we could have guys who are operating and they’re great at their health. They’re in great shape. Maybe they’re great at relating with their wife, but the connection with their kids are off and they’re broke. Usually, what I see is men are thriving in one or two of those dimensions and then struggling in two to three others. It’s how to balance all five of those dimensions. I use that word delicately because balance I think is impossible. Improve the dimensions that you want to improve upon. That’s the second thing. The third thing is what I see with men in marriage is they desperately want to fix the problems that are under their own roof before they start looking elsewhere. I would say most men who I’ve spoken to who have come into the alliance and our community, most men are satisfied with their marriages, but it’s not where they want it to be. They have no clue how to get it there. They don’t even know how to communicate that. The marriage thing is probably the third thing that I always see that men want to improve upon, they just don’t know how.

That validates a lot of the work and the things I’ve been seeing. My viewpoint is that it’s a tough time to be a man in this society. Not to say it’s not tough to be all other genders. I always have to say that because people hear that. It’s a tough time to be a man. The double-edged sword, the double trap is that they can’t talk about it. They don’t know how to talk about it. They might not even know there’s a problem. They can sense something is amiss but can’t touch what it is. If a man comes to you and says, “My relationship or my marriage is not what truly what I want it to be.” What are your first steps to help that man on the road to a better relationship?

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

I seriously think that The 5 Love Languages is a resource that is vastly underutilized. I joke about it, but I’m serious. Every jeweler in America or in the world should have a copy of that book. When you buy your engagement ring, that book just comes with it. That would probably save a lot of marriages. Many men try to love their women in their own love language and so many women do the same. What happens is women are speaking Chinese and men are speaking French and no one understands each other. All the while men are like, “I’m trying and she’s isn’t responding.” Women are like, “He doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t get me.” I had to learn that the hard way as well. If you look at the five love languages on physical touch and words of affirmation, a lot of guys will like that. I’d always pour compliments into my wife and try to love her physically. My wife, the way she takes that as, “We’ve got four boys in this house. It’s another dude in this house who needs something from me.”

The compliments, she appreciates them. At the same time, she appreciates more acts of service. If I help out around the house or if I’m like, “It’s been a while since you’ve been out with girlfriends. Why don’t you get out and go get your hair done? Go have fun.” To her, that’s like, “I feel so much lighter when you do that. I feel so loved when you do that.” She’s a big quality time person. I’ve got to be very careful about being distracted when I’m with her. This is the way she described it to me one time. For me, it’s not a big deal. If she’s talking to me and I’m on my phone checking something, I’m listening to her or at least I think I am. Probably I’m not doing a good job of it, but I think I am.

She explained this to me one time, she was like, “Quality time is a big deal to me. When I’m with you and you’re on your phone, what it feels like to me is if you make a sexual advance to me. I literally take both my hands and push you away.” I was like, “Wow.” That was vivid for me. I was like, “I get it now.” I’m not great about it at all times, but I make sure that I do those things that make her feel most loved. Even though I’m big on physical touch and words of affirmation, my default is I want to love her in that way. I have to remind myself not to do that. With her, the other thing too is I think men are not very clear with what their needs are. Sometimes they don’t even know what their own love language is. If they’re very clear and they can communicate that to their wives because I think so many men are service-oriented, and they just want to give. We also need to receive love too. Number one, we don’t know what they are. Number two, we’re like, “I know what they are. How do I communicate this?” Those are the things I think if you do those two things, it could make all the difference.

The 5 Love Languages the book by Gary Chapman. It was published in the ’90s. If I remember correctly, the five are receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. It’s a classic book if you haven’t heard of it. I never make assumptions that people have heard these great works. The main thing, my flip side, my response to that is we often expect, we project what’s right for us on the other person. We don’t get curious about what they want. When your wife did the greatest service ever, giving you the physical analogy of what it would feel like with the phone, to me it’s like, “That’s no big deal.” I don’t care if you look at the phone while I’m talking to you but to her, it’s a physical pushing away. Bravo for the communication skills between the two of you.

We’ve known each other for several years. I met her my first year at college. We’ve been married for fifteen. If I could have made those adjustments early on because I did it wrong for so many years, I would have gone back and done that.

You’re pointing to another theme of my work in the book is that men are uneducated. When you say wrong, I’m like, “You just didn’t know.” That’s the whole thing. We think we beat ourselves up for our mistakes, but what it comes down to is we’re uneducated and we don’t know. The greatest gift you can give to the people in your life, especially women, is to one, be curious. Two, be inquisitive. Also continue to work on yourself and listen to improve because that is the most important piece.

Being a student of your wife is something that never gets old. You probably know this better than I do, but the woman that I met back in college, she’s not the same as she is now. She wasn’t a mother of four children and a stay-at-home mom when I first met her. Things have changed a little bit. You have to understand. I had another guest on my show and she said, “You constantly have to be a student of your wife because the chapters in her life are different now than what they were back then.”

You’re a father of four boys. I have two girls. I’m a co-parent officially for about a year, but in their lives for three years. Being a stepdad is the hardest part of my life. I run a six-figure business. I’m writing a book. I’m learning to promote myself. I’m doing my soul and self-work and whining on purpose and the kids are the most challenging part. Four boys, how does that go?

It’s a lot. I’m not going to lie. Twelve, ten, four and two. The third child was the biggest transition. It was because when I had my third, the two elders, we call them the bigs and the smalls. That’s what we call them in our house. They were six and eight when the third was born. They were out of diapers. They were both into sports. It’s a one to one ratio. Life’s pretty easy. No one’s in diapers anymore. All of a sudden, the third one comes and we were like, “We’re starting all over again.” Not to mention for his first two years, it felt like he was almost an only child, my third because the other two were operating at a totally different level. The two-year-old, he had his own world. Going from three to four was such an easier transition.

Not to mention my youngest was an easy baby. I do like having number one, all boys. I like that. I don’t know what I’m missing out on with girls. Maybe I would feel differently if I was around a girl. I like having all boys. I do like the fact that we have ten and twelve and four and two. The two-year-old and a four-year-old get along great. My ten-year-old and twelve years old they get along and then they fight. They have each other. I like having those even numbers next to each other. It’s a lot of work. My wife and I were talking about it. I feel like the day starts crazy and it ends crazy. It’s like a tornado or sometimes in between. I’m trying to soak in like, “I need to enjoy this. I need to embrace the fact that it’s absolutely insane from time to time. I have to either bob and weave with it or I have to fight it and it’s going to make it a whole lot less enjoyable.”

The skill of surrendering to the children is not an easy thing to do for sure. Raising boys, knowing your own journey with your own fathers. Fathers in different degrees or male role models, what do you think is the most important for boys to learn these days? To you in your heart to be the best dad you can be and to be part of this community and reflection of all these amazing men wanting to step up, what do you feel is important for boys to know in this day and age?

It’s important to teach boys confidence and feeling very good about being leaders. For instance, my twelve years old we call him the cop because everything has to be right. He came to my room, he was like, “Dad, there are a lot of boys at my school who are dropping the F-bomb. I don’t know if I should go tell the principal about that.” I was like, “What do you think you should do?” He was like, “I think I should go tell the principal.” I was like, “What do you think the good things are going to be and the bad things are?” There’s the part of me the one who immediately wants to jump in and be like, “I think you should do this.” Instead, I have to remind myself to ask them questions. Getting kids to think on their own and then come up with their own solutions, guiding them to that is a big thing. He was like, “I think I should probably tell the principal. The good thing was maybe the principal will talk to them. The bad thing is what if they find out it’s me.”

Good Dad: Kids, boys, in particular, should grow up with an example of how to treat a woman.

I was like, “How can you prevent that from happening to find out that it’s you?” He was like, “I could tell the principal to not mention my name.” In the back my mind, the principal wouldn’t mention his name. They’d keep it anonymous. I was like, “You should do what you feel is best. If you feel that these guys need to be reminded, that they don’t use that language in school, you should do that,” and so he did. Then my ten-year-old, he’s a very strong-willed, stubborn kid, which doesn’t serve him all the time. Other times it does serve him very well. Where he’s like he won’t give in to peer pressure which is great. If a kid’s like, “Do this or I’m not going to be your friend.” He’s like, “Don’t be my friend.” He’s not worried about being accepted. He’s more like, “This is where I stand.” That’s important knowing what they stand for.

The other thing too is kids, boys, in particular, should grow up with an example of how to treat a woman. I’m not saying old school chivalry. I think that’s great. There are so many marriages out there that are simply surviving. Kids never see their parents like affectionate and never see their dad love. I didn’t have the best father, but I had an amazing grandfather who is so affectionate and complementary to my grandmother all the time. My goal is to gross out my children living the life. The more that I hear them say, “Ew,” the better job I know we’re doing. The third thing is financial literacy. Kids are not taught personal finance growing up. We give our kids allowance every single month, those allowances or not based on chores. We give them a hefty allowance the older ones. It’s things that we would pay for anyway. For instance, they’re responsible for paying for their own haircuts. If they want to play football, they’re responsible for paying for their cleats. They want to play baseball, they’re responsible for paying for their bat. If they want to buy their lunch, that comes out of their pocket. If I’m in a gas station and they want candy, that comes out of their pocket.

Every month I start both my twelve and ten-year-old with $100. They are responsible for their $20 haircuts. They’re also required to save 20% of it. That’s another $20 off. They’re required to give 10% to some charity or something bigger than themselves. That’s $50. It gives them a $50. Whenever they get a phone, that’s going to be something that they pay for as well. We sit down with them every month. For instance, we got done with October. I was like, “You’re responsible for your haircut. You’re responsible for saving. You’re responsible for giving. You’re responsible for your Halloween costume. Here’s what everything will probably cost. Where do you want to cut corners? What would you like to do?” Putting them in the driver’s seat.

I’ve seen unbelievable decisions made financially by my kids to help them save money. Think about things that are coming, not be so much impulsive buyers and immediate gratification. Buying that thing right away when you could be like, “I don’t need that.” I’ve seen things like we’ll be at the movies, I’ll be like, “I’ll pay for your ticket, but any snacks you want that’s on you.” They’ll make decisions like if we run by Walgreens, “Can I get a package of M&M’s for $1 and stick them on my pocket?” I’m like, “Yes.” That saves everybody money when you’re not dropping $30 at a movie and they are making those decisions on their own. For instance, they will be like, “I want a soda at the movies, which is $4. You can have that, but you’re going to have to wait to buy that soccer ball longer.”

Do you give them cash?

We do. We decided to do this because my ten-year-old was like, “When can I get a credit card?” I was like, “Why would you want a credit card?” “If you have a credit card, you can buy whatever you want.” I was like, “No. We need to teach you about money and the value of money.” That’s when this whole thing started. Psychologically, it’s harder to hand over hard-earned cash than it is to swipe a card. You usually spend less.

My wife, Morgan, and I were driving south from San Francisco six hours in the car. Finding TED Talks to play on the stereo. We found this one guy named Adam Carroll. He plays Monopoly with his kids all the time. One time he took $10,000 cash out and played with his kids with physical money instead of the paper money that comes with Monopoly. He said that they changed their techniques around playing so significantly. With the paper money they were like, “Buy this, buy that.” He described each kid in their strategy with the paper money. Once it actually had physical money, it impacted. You’re ahead of us. What we want to implement with our girls is the same thing. They go to Amazon and like, “I want this, I want that.” There’s no conception around it. Kudos to you for implementing that. You said $100. I thought you’re going to say $500 because that’s how it feels like. That’s how much it feels like the kids can spend a month easily. There’s no consciousness around it. What a great amazing gift you’re giving your sons.

They don’t like it sometimes when I told them they were getting $100. One of the lessons right there is just because you have what you think is a lot of money, it’s not necessarily what you make, it’s how you manage it. If you look at Americans, it’s not necessarily what we make, it’s how we manage it. We were never taught in the public-school system. Our parents did not know what they were doing. We don’t know what we’re doing. I’m glad to say we do. My wife and I are on the same page with what we do with our finances. I sit there and I think about the modeling and the examples. We put everything on a credit card and then we pay the credit card off every month. How many times have I swiped this card in front of them? Thousands of times I swiped this card. There’s no wonder that my kids think there’s an endless supply of money on the other end of this card somewhere.

Adults have the same thing. I’m a math geek. I’m an accountant by trade, a bookkeeper by trade. I keep a very strict track of our money and report to Morgan every month about the money. At the same time, it’s important to bring consciousness where there wasn’t consciousness before. Competence, leadership, how to treat women and financial responsibility. Those are your top four concepts to teach your sons. Do you have desires for the group? Do you have a big goal? Do you want to do your own TED Talk? What’s your next step for your project?

I never thought about a TED Talk until now.

Good Dad: We see so many men sidestep their health to take care of everyone else. While that’s noble, you’re not doing anybody any favors by letting yourself go to hell.

We’ll go on the track and we’ll support each other because that’s where I’m at, creating a TED Talk.

I’ve never thought of that but that’s an idea. My goal has always been to help as many men as possible in those five dimensions. I want to see men’s marriages thrive. I want to see the connection with their kids and making these epic memories with their kids. I want men to come and learn from each other in a place where they can enjoy their own life. Also, bestow amazing lessons and a good example. A good experience for their kids so that generation can do the same thing. I want to see men take care of their health. We see so many men sidestep their health, their physical health, mental health, emotional health and spiritual health for the sake of a feeling that they have to take care of everyone else. While that’s noble and while that’s generous and being a servant, you’re not doing anybody any favors by letting yourself go to hell.

I’m not talking about the spiritual realm, I’m talking about like physically, mentally. Literally, you feel terrible all the time. You’re not doing anybody any favors by doing that. As far as so many men go to work for a paycheck, they don’t enjoy what they do, finding work that makes them come alive. The other thing we’re teaching too is that financial literacy piece because a lot of men and families are in 50% of divorces because of finances. We have resources in our group for that, helping men with their finances. Having better conversations with their wives about finances and budgeting and creating more of a vision for your life versus always trying to keep up with the Joneses.

That’s a nice place to stop with that dream. How do people find out about you? How do people find out about the group? Talk about the programs and the services that you offer because I think it’s so valuable. Men have trouble asking for help. Maybe spend some time talking about what you guys do. If that’s something that attracts men, they can sign up for it.

We have what’s called The Dad Edge Alliance. You can find all the information and if it’s something you’re interested I have an application process for that. That’s at GoodDadProject.com/Alliance. What the Alliance is this is our mastermind community. We have just shy of 300 men and we have what’s called fifteen different teams. You can’t obviously serve nearly 300 men at once. You have to break them up and divide them up into teams. Then half of what we do is highly organized and structured, and the other half is not. That’s by design. The structured and the organized part is every month we focus in on a topic and then we make what’s called the tactical agenda, which is a fancy word for a workbook. The word workbook scares men so we call it a tactical agenda.

We put it into a PDF and then every week of that month we go over a subtopic within that topic and we can leave it open for discussion. We’ve gone over mental toughness, emotional resiliency, marriage, sex, intimacy, communication, leadership, confidence and finances. In the month of November, we’re doing ego and how that shows up in our life. That’s the structured portion of it and that’s what these guys conversate and talk live about via Zoom every single week. Then half of what we do is we allow men the freedom to talk about and ask questions about whatever they want. It’s pretty amazing what a man will ask his team or to a group of like-minded men that he otherwise wouldn’t. We’ve had men talk openly about their struggles with pornography. We’ve had men talk about their struggles with alcohol. We’ve had men talk about their struggles with sexless marriages and finances.

These guys have been carrying this stuff for a long time and they’ve been too proud, too ashamed and too embarrassed to ask, but they desperately want some answers. The Alliance gives these guys a safe place for that. At least once a month, we have a guest speaker come and do a Q&A with us. It’s always been men from the podcast. We had New York Times bestselling authors and Navy SEALs and Pro athletes. All kinds of people who are operating on a very different level and answer questions directly from our guys and we have a membership site. That’s where we keep the tactical agenda. That’s where we keep our recorded guest speaker calls and all of our topics for the month and our team call accesses and all that good stuff.

That’s what we do in the Alliance. If men aren’t ready for that because men have to be ready for that, we have a larger free group called The Dad Edge Real Dads with Purpose. We have thousands of men who are a part of that and they can get a taste of it. The conversations within that group are amazing. The vulnerability alone, it amazes me when you put a keyboard and a screen in front of a man and he’ll ask about anything to 10,000-plus other men for their opinion. That’s cool because there’s no other place that men have to do that. Unless it’s in therapy, which we recommend that all day long as well.

Anything can be found at the GoodDadProject.com. On Facebook, it’s The Good Dad Project and you’re also on Twitter and all those other wonderful places, but you recommend The Good Dad Project as the focal point for inquiries?

Yes. If you want to find our podcast, we release three a week. We’re real busy there. You can go to GoodDadProject.com/podcast for that. That’s our most popular landing page and the Alliances.

Thank you so much for bringing your wisdom. Thank you so much for what you’re doing in the world. I’m thinking about Alliance personally. You’ve got one interested customer. It’s amazing what you’re doing and so powerful. I don’t know if we said this specifically, but you said you’re teaching men to be better men, which of course will lead to becoming better fathers. It has to start with ourselves. We have to learn to put the oxygen mask on first. We have to learn to do our own self-work and to become a good dad. We can’t become a good dad by not paying attention to our own personal stuff. Thank you for helping men do that.

I appreciate it. Thank you for having me on your show. This is a real honor and a real treat.

It’s my pleasure. Thank you so much, Larry, for joining me and sharing all your wisdom. Speaking about love languages, speaking about the four things you teach your sons. It’s really powerful ideas and concepts. If you enjoyed the show, please leave us a review. Give us some stars, five stars, even the best at iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify or your favorite podcast app. I love you. Take care.

Resources mentioned:

• www.GoodDadProject.com
• The Good Dad Project
• Facebook group
• Larry Hagner
• The Good Dad Project on Facebook
• The 5 Love Languages
• GoodDadProject.com/Alliance
• Good Dad Project on Twitter
• GoodDadProject.com/podcast
• Tuff Love on iTunes
• Tuff Love on Stitcher
• Tuff Love on Spotify

About Larry Hagner

Larry Hagner is the founder of the Good Dad Project and host of The Dad Edge Podcast. The Dad Edge Podcast is the #1 Dad Podcast on Apple Podcasts. It is downloaded in 177 countries with millions of downloads. Larry is the father of 4 boys, and has been married for 14 years to his incredible wife Jessica.

Larry breaks down strategies for men to be the best version of themselves and helps men navigate life through helping men build a band of brothers. He also helps men with mental toughness, emotional resilience, financial stress, relationships, and work/life integration. His book “The Dad’s Edge” is a #1 Amazon Bestseller. He is also the host of the Dad Edge Alliance Mastermind Community with hundreds of members.

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• robertkandell.com
• Tuff Love Facebook
• Tuff Love Instagram
• Tuff Love YouTube
• Tuff Love LinkedIn